I know, I know.
Many of you who have children saw them go back to school eons ago, or at least last week. All I can say is that this is early for us, what with Labor Day so late. Plus, no striking teachers this year...
In any case, let's celebrate with our favorite school books. If you could go to any school in literature, which would it be? Is there anyone who wouldn't choose Hogwarts? Which school would children a generation ago have chosen? Growing up, I certainly wished I went to Betsy Ray's Deep Valley High School, if only to hang out with her fun friends and take Joe on every spring in the Essay Contest.
Maybe because hardship makes for exciting stories, there seem to be many more schools in literature where you would NOT want to enroll. I'm thinking of Lowood in JANE EYRE or Wackford Squeers' dreadful establishment in NICHOLAS NICKLEBY. (Note to parents: in Dickens, names are always clues. Don't enroll your child at a place where the headmaster is named "Wackford.") Or consider Almanzo Wilder's one-room schoolhouse in Malone, New York, where the previous schoolmaster was beaten up by the big kids and later died! Or Francie Nolan's struggles in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, until she discovered that beautiful school in a different neighborhood. Francie was the original open-enroller.
Is it my imagination, or is school less thrilling in reality? I suppose life is always less thrilling than books (or else the book you're reading isn't worth your time), but it seems like school is even more bland. There's so much curriculum to get through nowadays that there's less time for mischief (Amy March and her pickled limes!). Even bullies have been dumbed down (remember "Scut Farkus" in A CHRISTMAS STORY?)--today's Thought for the Day at my kids' school was about Controlling Your Emotions and Thinking before You Speak. Good luck with that.
My own Thought for the Day for my kids? "Stay away from anyone who's scratching their head too much." Never mind thoughtfulness--let's just shoot for no lice.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
How Does Your Book Club Run?
Met a friend at Cafe Borrone the other day. I had all three kids with me because Scott was meeting someone else (also at the same cafe but somehow with no children), so I set my Parenting Mode to "Ignore" (i.e., bought them each hot chocolate and gave them free rein with the DS), and the two of us had a great conversation.
One of my favorite topics is book clubs, and sure enough, Amy had some great tips to share from hers. In her book club, each person takes a turn choosing the book for the month and hosting, but as an added twist, that person BUYS the books for everyone in the group and hands them out the month before. "It's like getting a present every month," Amy said. Plus, you don't have to worry about getting your copy in time, as we do in my book club, a process complicated by the fact that we're all cheapskates and get in the library hold line, which does not guarantee you'll get the book in time even to skim it, much less read it. So once a year you have a big outlay, and the rest of the year you skate by while your library grows of its own accord. This does put a little extra pressure on the host to pick non-crappo books, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.
In our book club we rotate Contemporary Fiction (post 1900), Non-Fiction, and Classic, but we usually choose the roster in a big pow-wow or when one particular member (ahem! Not to name names (Christina Dudley)) gets really opinionated. We also try to tie the refreshments and noshes to the theme of the book.
Some recent choices popular with Amy's group were OUTLIERS by Malcolm Gladwell, THE CONDITION by Jennifer Heigh, and NEVER LET ME GO by Kazuo Ishiguro.
If you're in a book club and have some best practices to share, let's hear it!
One of my favorite topics is book clubs, and sure enough, Amy had some great tips to share from hers. In her book club, each person takes a turn choosing the book for the month and hosting, but as an added twist, that person BUYS the books for everyone in the group and hands them out the month before. "It's like getting a present every month," Amy said. Plus, you don't have to worry about getting your copy in time, as we do in my book club, a process complicated by the fact that we're all cheapskates and get in the library hold line, which does not guarantee you'll get the book in time even to skim it, much less read it. So once a year you have a big outlay, and the rest of the year you skate by while your library grows of its own accord. This does put a little extra pressure on the host to pick non-crappo books, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.
In our book club we rotate Contemporary Fiction (post 1900), Non-Fiction, and Classic, but we usually choose the roster in a big pow-wow or when one particular member (ahem! Not to name names (Christina Dudley)) gets really opinionated. We also try to tie the refreshments and noshes to the theme of the book.
Some recent choices popular with Amy's group were OUTLIERS by Malcolm Gladwell, THE CONDITION by Jennifer Heigh, and NEVER LET ME GO by Kazuo Ishiguro.
If you're in a book club and have some best practices to share, let's hear it!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Here's a Good One For You
Many thanks to Open Door Church of Mountain View for hosting Cass and me at their kick-off night for Mothers Together, a group which was a lifeline for me at Menlo Park Presbyterian Church, when I was clueless with a new baby. (Now I'm clueless with three elementary-age kids.) Lovely setting, lovely women, and luscious baked goods. All the advice on marketing one's book doesn't mention what fun it can be, although there was a scary moment when I showed up at the wrong venue and thought NO ONE had come, not even the organizers.
Must say, it's eye-opening to read for a group made up almost entirely of strangers. A little bit like that Jay Buehner Mariners commercial where he plays an unsuccessful stand-up comedian (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddWVrArG3MU). Okay, not quite that awkward, but still--! Note to self: plant some friendly faces at the University Book Store Bellevue gig, or it could be a very long evening. Or bring a laugh track. 2nd note to self: wouldn't it be great if they marketed a laugh-track whoopee cushion? Whenever I was reading a joke, I could just subtly shift around in my seat, and raucous, infectious laughter would erupt. Of course, your standard whoopee cushion would also have that effect, and who could I get to keep blowing the thing up between jokes? Do I have a friend that loyal or long-winded?
Any volunteers?
Must say, it's eye-opening to read for a group made up almost entirely of strangers. A little bit like that Jay Buehner Mariners commercial where he plays an unsuccessful stand-up comedian (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddWVrArG3MU). Okay, not quite that awkward, but still--! Note to self: plant some friendly faces at the University Book Store Bellevue gig, or it could be a very long evening. Or bring a laugh track. 2nd note to self: wouldn't it be great if they marketed a laugh-track whoopee cushion? Whenever I was reading a joke, I could just subtly shift around in my seat, and raucous, infectious laughter would erupt. Of course, your standard whoopee cushion would also have that effect, and who could I get to keep blowing the thing up between jokes? Do I have a friend that loyal or long-winded?
Any volunteers?
Monday, August 24, 2009
Squirrels Make Noises
For the first time ever, I'm blogging in someone's backyard. It's before 8 a.m., and everyone in the house is male and asleep, so here I sit, tapping into the unsecured wireless network. And I have made the discovery that that sound--the one that sounds like a cat/creaky bellows--is actually coming from a squirrel. No idea that squirrels made "mwa-a-a-A-a-a-a" sounds, but now I know gray ones do when they're trying to intimidate black ones. Take that, Jane Goodall.
Squirrels have NOTHING to do with Books, unless you're talking about the odd, I-don't-get-it story of Squirrel Nutkin by Beatrix Potter.
Onward.
Had my first California book party last night, with friends I hadn't seen in years, in some cases. Very, very fun. I forgot my camera and the bottles of wine for the hostess, so you'll just have to take my word for it.
Anyhow, I was telling one woman how we had caught MACBETH on our stopover in Ashland and really enjoyed it, but that we felt guilty for leaving the kids with a complete stranger off the Oregon Shakespeare Festival website. With the result that we decided we would take the kids to the play next summer. We've chosen HENRY IV, PART ONE because it'll be in the outdoor theater and have things kids know and love, like nagging parents, the annoying kid always held up to you as an example, fat jokes, potty humor, and sword fights.
This friend responded that her mom had taken her to Ashland at age 5(!) to see JULIUS CAESAR, of all things. To prepare for it, her mom went over the whole play and acted it out with toy animals. Brutus was a giraffe. She remembers the whole experience like it was yesterday. This is a fabulous idea! I can't wait to go home and get started on HENRY IV, maybe using the kids' Pokemon figures. Or, better yet, Bionicles and my youngest's Disney princesses.
Anyone remember the first Shakespeare play they ever saw? My experience probably wasn't unique--it would have to be freshman year of high school when they rolled the Franco Zeffirelli ROMEO AND JULIET video. In that age of huge perms, there was much snickering and scorn over Juliet's stick-straight, parted-in-the-middle hair, but we all know who had the last laugh.
Squirrels have NOTHING to do with Books, unless you're talking about the odd, I-don't-get-it story of Squirrel Nutkin by Beatrix Potter.
Onward.
Had my first California book party last night, with friends I hadn't seen in years, in some cases. Very, very fun. I forgot my camera and the bottles of wine for the hostess, so you'll just have to take my word for it.
Anyhow, I was telling one woman how we had caught MACBETH on our stopover in Ashland and really enjoyed it, but that we felt guilty for leaving the kids with a complete stranger off the Oregon Shakespeare Festival website. With the result that we decided we would take the kids to the play next summer. We've chosen HENRY IV, PART ONE because it'll be in the outdoor theater and have things kids know and love, like nagging parents, the annoying kid always held up to you as an example, fat jokes, potty humor, and sword fights.
This friend responded that her mom had taken her to Ashland at age 5(!) to see JULIUS CAESAR, of all things. To prepare for it, her mom went over the whole play and acted it out with toy animals. Brutus was a giraffe. She remembers the whole experience like it was yesterday. This is a fabulous idea! I can't wait to go home and get started on HENRY IV, maybe using the kids' Pokemon figures. Or, better yet, Bionicles and my youngest's Disney princesses.
Anyone remember the first Shakespeare play they ever saw? My experience probably wasn't unique--it would have to be freshman year of high school when they rolled the Franco Zeffirelli ROMEO AND JULIET video. In that age of huge perms, there was much snickering and scorn over Juliet's stick-straight, parted-in-the-middle hair, but we all know who had the last laugh.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Trippin' It Old School
Call us old-fashioned. But despite having three children and--gag!--a minivan, we drew the line at the drop-down video screen option. We have our principles, after all. When Dudleys hit the road, they do it in the time-honored fashion, with hours of boredom looking out the windows at I-5 and a healthy dose of inter-sibling warfare. (Seriously, my two older kids, who both sit in the very back, once had what looked like a kickboxing tournament, and it was not in jest.)
What do we have for entertainment, all those fifteen hours to the Bay Area? Besides our limited imaginations, we listen to books on tape. And I mean tape because our CD player always conks out when it overheats, usually at an exciting part in the story. We have learned the hard way.
In the early days it was harder to choose books everyone in the family would enjoy listening to (everyone under 10, that is), and there was plenty of squabbling over whose book got to be in. I even used to check out those audio books that included the picture book, so kids could follow along, turning pages whenever they hit the "beep!" But those kinds of books only last a few minutes, and the kids fought over who got to hold the physical book, so I'm happy to have graduated out of them.
This trip? We'll be listening to HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE, all 18+ hours, thank you very much. Even that won't cover the round trip, so I've also got THE AURORA COUNTY ALL-STARS, which I know nothing about and which also is unfortunately on CD. Which means we'll probably hear some of HP6 twice. Not a problem--even my youngest has seen all the movies multiple times and can talk knowledgeably about horcruxes.
Because everyone, including my husband, first heard the HP series read aloud by me, there is some general grumbling over the reader's voice(s) and style, but that's always the thing with audio books. We've heard wonderful productions and horrid ones. FYI:
WONDERFUL:
The LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE series, read by Cherry Lane. She's fabulous, and there's even fiddle music. Go, Pa!
The WINNIE-THE-POOH series, read by a constellation of British stars, including Judi Dench. Jane Horrocks as Piglet is our hands-down favorite. My kids spent much of the trip trying to imitate her.
AWFUL:
The WINNIE-THE-POOH version read by Carol Channing. Seriously unpleasant, especially after hearing the other production.
Michael Chabon's SUMMERLAND. Who would think I would ever object to a Michael Chabon book? But this one, after some fun opening chapters, goes on FOREVER AND EVER. Even with all our hours and hours of driving we couldn't finish, and no one could follow the plot or stay interested enough to try. He reads it himself, so at least he doesn't ask anything of us that he isn't willing to go through.
LET THE AUDITOR BEWARE:
Last summer we listened to JULIE OF THE WOLVES, which I'd never read, and we were all enjoying the story, but no one warned me about Why Julie Ran Away to the Wolves in the First Place. So there we are, listening contentedly, rooting for Julie to win over the Wolf Leader, when there's a flashback to how she got there. She got there because her creepy "husband" (whom she had to marry as a child, pretty much) tries to consummate their union. Ahem. Eek! Over choruses of protest, I went for the eject button, not knowing how detailed this encounter would be.
I hear Kindles can "read" books aloud. Has anyone tried this option? I imagine this would be about as fun as having Stephen Hawking read your books aloud, but I'd be happy to be mistaken.
And if you or your family have enjoyed a great audio book production, pass it on. There's always the next road trip.
What do we have for entertainment, all those fifteen hours to the Bay Area? Besides our limited imaginations, we listen to books on tape. And I mean tape because our CD player always conks out when it overheats, usually at an exciting part in the story. We have learned the hard way.
In the early days it was harder to choose books everyone in the family would enjoy listening to (everyone under 10, that is), and there was plenty of squabbling over whose book got to be in. I even used to check out those audio books that included the picture book, so kids could follow along, turning pages whenever they hit the "beep!" But those kinds of books only last a few minutes, and the kids fought over who got to hold the physical book, so I'm happy to have graduated out of them.
This trip? We'll be listening to HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE, all 18+ hours, thank you very much. Even that won't cover the round trip, so I've also got THE AURORA COUNTY ALL-STARS, which I know nothing about and which also is unfortunately on CD. Which means we'll probably hear some of HP6 twice. Not a problem--even my youngest has seen all the movies multiple times and can talk knowledgeably about horcruxes.
Because everyone, including my husband, first heard the HP series read aloud by me, there is some general grumbling over the reader's voice(s) and style, but that's always the thing with audio books. We've heard wonderful productions and horrid ones. FYI:
WONDERFUL:
The LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE series, read by Cherry Lane. She's fabulous, and there's even fiddle music. Go, Pa!
The WINNIE-THE-POOH series, read by a constellation of British stars, including Judi Dench. Jane Horrocks as Piglet is our hands-down favorite. My kids spent much of the trip trying to imitate her.
AWFUL:
The WINNIE-THE-POOH version read by Carol Channing. Seriously unpleasant, especially after hearing the other production.
Michael Chabon's SUMMERLAND. Who would think I would ever object to a Michael Chabon book? But this one, after some fun opening chapters, goes on FOREVER AND EVER. Even with all our hours and hours of driving we couldn't finish, and no one could follow the plot or stay interested enough to try. He reads it himself, so at least he doesn't ask anything of us that he isn't willing to go through.
LET THE AUDITOR BEWARE:
Last summer we listened to JULIE OF THE WOLVES, which I'd never read, and we were all enjoying the story, but no one warned me about Why Julie Ran Away to the Wolves in the First Place. So there we are, listening contentedly, rooting for Julie to win over the Wolf Leader, when there's a flashback to how she got there. She got there because her creepy "husband" (whom she had to marry as a child, pretty much) tries to consummate their union. Ahem. Eek! Over choruses of protest, I went for the eject button, not knowing how detailed this encounter would be.
I hear Kindles can "read" books aloud. Has anyone tried this option? I imagine this would be about as fun as having Stephen Hawking read your books aloud, but I'd be happy to be mistaken.
And if you or your family have enjoyed a great audio book production, pass it on. There's always the next road trip.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Powell's to the People
Is it the United Airlines magazine that features "Three Perfect Days in [Fill in Name of City Where the Masses Never Get to Go Because They're Stuck Flying to Dubuque]..." articles?
With three children, I'm never going to get three perfect days (i.e., sans enfants, ohne Kinder, w-i-t-h-o-u-t k-i-d-s) anywhere, but I did manage to squeak 1 and 1/2 in Portland, Oregon. Let us now praise the City of Roses.
1) Blowing the Lid off the Weather Secret: yes, Portland gets more rain than Seattle, inch per inch (many places do, actually), but in the summer it is sunnier and warmer! We got maybe 86F and 89F. And when you walk everywhere Downtown, or at least from food place to food place, this is significant.
2)Portland is a foodie town! I didn't actually know this. Hands-down winner restaurant was Andino's, which serves, hmmm...nouveau Peruvian? Excellent tapas. And sufferers from Celiac's disease, rejoice! Peruvians eat a lot of quinoa and potatoes, which means many dishes are gluten-free.
3) Or (2) Part Two: Portland is a meat town! The lady in the chocolate shop Cacao actually said this to us. Why? Because we were asking about the "bacon salted caramel." Yes, you read that right. And it's not just bacon extract, because we asked. And we ate one, or my friend did, and I gave her my half after one nibble. There was also the morning breakfast joint with the sign against the register: "We no longer serve elk sausage." That is, don't come crying to us if you can't get your food made from wild game here anymore.
4)Powell's. Powell's Powell's Powell's. Over a two-day trip, this warranted two visits. It is, after all the "City of Books," and one visit wasn't long enough. If anyone thinks independent bookstores can't thrive, they may be right, but this particular independent bookstore, covering many floors and a city block and going in all directions and obeying the retail injunction that the-store-must-be-laid-out-such-that-customers-upon-entering-cannot-easily-find-their-way-out, seemed to be thriving. Combine the zillion genres with the zillion copies, new and used, with the No Sales Tax in Oregon, and you have yourself a winner. I "only" bought five books.
Bonus: if you are accosted by the aggressive vegan panhandler outside one entrance, as we were (maybe he was grouchy because of Point (3)), you can always leave the store via a different door. I drew his wrath by giggling over him putting "vegan" on his sign, but I suppose he got tired of explaining to people who offered him turkey sandwiches.
Anyhow, I highly recommend a visit, and the Hotel Monaco was lovely and central. The only problem was that two days is far too short to crack open any of the books I bought or brought, which is why this post falls under the "And Beyond" header.
With three children, I'm never going to get three perfect days (i.e., sans enfants, ohne Kinder, w-i-t-h-o-u-t k-i-d-s) anywhere, but I did manage to squeak 1 and 1/2 in Portland, Oregon. Let us now praise the City of Roses.
1) Blowing the Lid off the Weather Secret: yes, Portland gets more rain than Seattle, inch per inch (many places do, actually), but in the summer it is sunnier and warmer! We got maybe 86F and 89F. And when you walk everywhere Downtown, or at least from food place to food place, this is significant.
2)Portland is a foodie town! I didn't actually know this. Hands-down winner restaurant was Andino's, which serves, hmmm...nouveau Peruvian? Excellent tapas. And sufferers from Celiac's disease, rejoice! Peruvians eat a lot of quinoa and potatoes, which means many dishes are gluten-free.
3) Or (2) Part Two: Portland is a meat town! The lady in the chocolate shop Cacao actually said this to us. Why? Because we were asking about the "bacon salted caramel." Yes, you read that right. And it's not just bacon extract, because we asked. And we ate one, or my friend did, and I gave her my half after one nibble. There was also the morning breakfast joint with the sign against the register: "We no longer serve elk sausage." That is, don't come crying to us if you can't get your food made from wild game here anymore.
4)Powell's. Powell's Powell's Powell's. Over a two-day trip, this warranted two visits. It is, after all the "City of Books," and one visit wasn't long enough. If anyone thinks independent bookstores can't thrive, they may be right, but this particular independent bookstore, covering many floors and a city block and going in all directions and obeying the retail injunction that the-store-must-be-laid-out-such-that-customers-upon-entering-cannot-easily-find-their-way-out, seemed to be thriving. Combine the zillion genres with the zillion copies, new and used, with the No Sales Tax in Oregon, and you have yourself a winner. I "only" bought five books.
Bonus: if you are accosted by the aggressive vegan panhandler outside one entrance, as we were (maybe he was grouchy because of Point (3)), you can always leave the store via a different door. I drew his wrath by giggling over him putting "vegan" on his sign, but I suppose he got tired of explaining to people who offered him turkey sandwiches.
Anyhow, I highly recommend a visit, and the Hotel Monaco was lovely and central. The only problem was that two days is far too short to crack open any of the books I bought or brought, which is why this post falls under the "And Beyond" header.
Monday, August 17, 2009
I'm on My Way, I'm Making It Big Time
Kidding about the title of this post, although I'm positive there is a line of '80s music for every occasion in life. And the big occasion I'd like to announce is...(drumroll, please)...my first actual Author Appearance in a Legitimate Place!
Mark your calendar for:
Wednesday, September 30
7:00 p.m.
University Bookstore in Bellevue
990 102nd Ave NE
Bellevue, WA 98004-4196
(425) 462-4500
www.bookstore.washington.edu
I'll be there to promote MOURNING BECOMES CASSANDRA, sign books, bribe people with cookies or other giveaways, and just generally grovel.
If you're reading this blog, chances are you've already read the book. Feel free to bring a newbie friend. Promise great things.
Cheers to independent bookstores! University Bookstore actually contacted me to ask if they could carry books because people had been asking. After considering for a millisecond, I tore over there, books in hand, to get them out immediately. Pop in and you'll find MBC on the "New Fiction" table.
On the dependent bookstore side, a friend and fan went into Lifeway to encourage them to carry my book, only to be told that they were "a big corporation, and buying decisions were made at a higher level." Just as well, since Lifeway might take one look at the 20+ f-words in the book and draw somewhat-unjustified conclusions about me.
See you in September?
Friday, August 14, 2009
Snickering over Pigs
Did I mention how friendly all the aspiring writers were at the PNWA conference a couple weeks ago? Genuinely friendly, despite the fact that we all harbored not-so-secret wishes that one of the agents whisking about would think our book stood out above the rabble and sign us on the spot.
There was only one person I met that I thought, "Wow, if you don't mind, I'd rather not spend any more time with you." Not because of her looks, which were odd in terms of artificial hair-color, nor because of her clothes (she had missed the memo that brown is the new black and still wore plenty of the old black). But because, when we were talking books, she sniffed and said, "I don't like funny books. I don't do funny."
Who doesn't like funny books? Who doesn't do funny? And how can such a person gather any friends about her? As Mr. Darcy points out to Elizabeth, "'The wisest and best of men, nay, the wisest and best of their actions, may be rendered ridiculous by a person whose first object in life is a joke.'" To which she responds, "'I hope I never ridicule what is wise or good.'" Hear, hear, Elizabeth! Let us not make fun of wisdom or goodness, but the rest of the world is fair game.
Last night, for example, I lay on the couch snickering over Novella Carpenter's FARM CITY, the passage where she and her boyfriend went Dumpster diving for fish guts from the Chinese restaurant to feed their pigs. Even the local homeless guy thought they were so down-and-out that he tried to give them money. But it was all worth it, from the pigs' perspective: "the squeals of delight were louder than those that any Yummy House Bakery cakes had elicited." And heaven knows those cakes drew loud squeals, not to mention making the pigs bite each other's ears in their desire to snorf down the larger share.
Scott, meanwhile, is re-reading HUCKLEBERRY FINN for Literary Night and snickering away, which reminds me of my favorite Twain essay, "Fenimore Cooper's Literary Offenses." Pee-your-pants funny, if you do funny.
TANGENT ALERT (please skip the following, if you like to stay on topic): Twain complains of Cooper that his "word-sense was singularly dull...when a person has a poor ear for words, the result is a literary flatting and sharping; you perceive what he is intending to say, but you also perceive that he doesn't say it." I don't know if there is any writer not guilty of literary flatting and sharping from time to time. Yesterday I read a blog post that praised someone's "self-depreciating" humor. Meaning "self-deprecating," I imagine. Unless the writer meant that person's humor lost value over time. Which most humor does. (TANGENT-ON-A-TANGENT ALERT (really skip this, if you're pressed for time): years ago I read portions of a biography on a nobody named Scrope Davies (a friend of Byron, among others). Scrope was a legendary wit in his time and circles, but, the biographer sadly noted, not many of his bon mots had stood the test of time, and therefore he, the biographer, wasn't going to tell me any of them. I understand, I guess. After all, nobody collected Winston Churchill's unfunny quotes. All of which is to say, more humor is, in fact, "self-depreciating" than "self-deprecating.")
In any case, I've done some flatting and sharping myself. Only on my VERY LAST revision did I realize I'd said Cass's thoughts were "in a swirl" instead of "in a whirl." "In a swirl" must have been inspired by the Pensieve or something. Or maybe all her thoughts were really in a swirl, and she looked like some giant Softserve cone.
Where am I going with this barely-structured post? Uh-oh. I'm sure Twain's #1 ironclad rule for "romantic fiction" probably also applies to blog posts: "That a tale shall accomplish something and arrive somewhere. But the DEERSLAYER tale accomplishes nothing and arrives in the air." Poor Cooper. Poor readers of this blog. For this post, like the Mouse's Tale in ALICE IN WONDERLAND is here
going to
peter
out.
There was only one person I met that I thought, "Wow, if you don't mind, I'd rather not spend any more time with you." Not because of her looks, which were odd in terms of artificial hair-color, nor because of her clothes (she had missed the memo that brown is the new black and still wore plenty of the old black). But because, when we were talking books, she sniffed and said, "I don't like funny books. I don't do funny."
Who doesn't like funny books? Who doesn't do funny? And how can such a person gather any friends about her? As Mr. Darcy points out to Elizabeth, "'The wisest and best of men, nay, the wisest and best of their actions, may be rendered ridiculous by a person whose first object in life is a joke.'" To which she responds, "'I hope I never ridicule what is wise or good.'" Hear, hear, Elizabeth! Let us not make fun of wisdom or goodness, but the rest of the world is fair game.
Last night, for example, I lay on the couch snickering over Novella Carpenter's FARM CITY, the passage where she and her boyfriend went Dumpster diving for fish guts from the Chinese restaurant to feed their pigs. Even the local homeless guy thought they were so down-and-out that he tried to give them money. But it was all worth it, from the pigs' perspective: "the squeals of delight were louder than those that any Yummy House Bakery cakes had elicited." And heaven knows those cakes drew loud squeals, not to mention making the pigs bite each other's ears in their desire to snorf down the larger share.
Scott, meanwhile, is re-reading HUCKLEBERRY FINN for Literary Night and snickering away, which reminds me of my favorite Twain essay, "Fenimore Cooper's Literary Offenses." Pee-your-pants funny, if you do funny.
TANGENT ALERT (please skip the following, if you like to stay on topic): Twain complains of Cooper that his "word-sense was singularly dull...when a person has a poor ear for words, the result is a literary flatting and sharping; you perceive what he is intending to say, but you also perceive that he doesn't say it." I don't know if there is any writer not guilty of literary flatting and sharping from time to time. Yesterday I read a blog post that praised someone's "self-depreciating" humor. Meaning "self-deprecating," I imagine. Unless the writer meant that person's humor lost value over time. Which most humor does. (TANGENT-ON-A-TANGENT ALERT (really skip this, if you're pressed for time): years ago I read portions of a biography on a nobody named Scrope Davies (a friend of Byron, among others). Scrope was a legendary wit in his time and circles, but, the biographer sadly noted, not many of his bon mots had stood the test of time, and therefore he, the biographer, wasn't going to tell me any of them. I understand, I guess. After all, nobody collected Winston Churchill's unfunny quotes. All of which is to say, more humor is, in fact, "self-depreciating" than "self-deprecating.")
In any case, I've done some flatting and sharping myself. Only on my VERY LAST revision did I realize I'd said Cass's thoughts were "in a swirl" instead of "in a whirl." "In a swirl" must have been inspired by the Pensieve or something. Or maybe all her thoughts were really in a swirl, and she looked like some giant Softserve cone.
Where am I going with this barely-structured post? Uh-oh. I'm sure Twain's #1 ironclad rule for "romantic fiction" probably also applies to blog posts: "That a tale shall accomplish something and arrive somewhere. But the DEERSLAYER tale accomplishes nothing and arrives in the air." Poor Cooper. Poor readers of this blog. For this post, like the Mouse's Tale in ALICE IN WONDERLAND is here
going to
peter
out.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Coming of Age
Scott and I are running up against a deadline: the publicity machine (I say this tongue-in-cheek) at FPCB needs its blurb for this year's Literary Night. For those who've never gone, we talk books and plays and poetry and sometimes movies, all around a theme.
This year it'll be Coming of Age, and let me just say, I love Coming of Age books. Far more than last year's Heroes. I mean, has anyone in the last thousand years wept over Beowulf? (Not counting weeping over the mediocrity and gore of the recent movie.) But weeping over Coming of Age books goes with the territory. Just to throw out one spoiler on Lit Night, think about how C of A books/movies always involve the moment in which the child loses the mentor/parent, because an essential part of growing up is Going It Alone. Doing It Yourself. Just try and keep that hankie dry when this happens, even if you know it's coming. Those of you stunned by the end of HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE would benefit from Literary Night attendance, although I still cried buckets. B-u-c-k-e-t-s.
We'll be looking at HUCKLEBERRY FINN, GREAT EXPECTATIONS, and JANE EYRE, at the very least (full list still TBD at the Dudley dinner table), but really the options are endless. Some of my past C of A favorites include TOM BROWN'S SCHOOL DAYS, THE FLAME TREES OF THIKA, PEACE LIKE A RIVER, A TREE GROWS IN BROOKLYN, DAVID COPPERFIELD, TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD, and, of course, the whole HARRY POTTER series.
Would love to hear some of yours in blog comments or in person at Lit Night on lucky Friday, November 13.
This year it'll be Coming of Age, and let me just say, I love Coming of Age books. Far more than last year's Heroes. I mean, has anyone in the last thousand years wept over Beowulf? (Not counting weeping over the mediocrity and gore of the recent movie.) But weeping over Coming of Age books goes with the territory. Just to throw out one spoiler on Lit Night, think about how C of A books/movies always involve the moment in which the child loses the mentor/parent, because an essential part of growing up is Going It Alone. Doing It Yourself. Just try and keep that hankie dry when this happens, even if you know it's coming. Those of you stunned by the end of HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE would benefit from Literary Night attendance, although I still cried buckets. B-u-c-k-e-t-s.
We'll be looking at HUCKLEBERRY FINN, GREAT EXPECTATIONS, and JANE EYRE, at the very least (full list still TBD at the Dudley dinner table), but really the options are endless. Some of my past C of A favorites include TOM BROWN'S SCHOOL DAYS, THE FLAME TREES OF THIKA, PEACE LIKE A RIVER, A TREE GROWS IN BROOKLYN, DAVID COPPERFIELD, TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD, and, of course, the whole HARRY POTTER series.
Would love to hear some of yours in blog comments or in person at Lit Night on lucky Friday, November 13.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Story #5
One of the agents at the PNWA Conference declared that there were, effectively, only seven stories in the world, and what writers had to figure out was their particular twist on one of the seven. After giving this some thought, I would say there are probably more like five stories that we humans tell over and over.
Take, for instance, the story of the bereaved widow/er getting back into the swing of things. Months ago, my cousin pointed out that MBC's plotline sounded a lot like Lolly Winston's GOOD GRIEF. After some Amazon research, I discovered it really, really did. At the conference, one of the agents I pitched to also noted this and asked if I'd read it. Uh...nope.
Since I consider MOURNING BECOMES CASSANDRA a beach read, I decided to read GOOD GRIEF at the beach last week and discovered the following similarities:
1. Obviously, both have widows trying to figure out how to do life again.
2. Both have teenage kids that the widows mentor (!!!). Winston's is a 13-year-old with pyro and cutting tendencies.
3. Both have humorous parts and poignant parts (the latter going with widow territory). If I were a crier, I would have cried at parts in this book, but as it is I haven't cried since PEACE LIKE A RIVER or the end of GRAN TORINO.
4. Both mention Ashland and have a character who acts.
5. Both protagonists, at one point, make pies and celebrate Thanksgiving.
Of the list, I'd say only #2 caused me dismay. There were also many differences, the main ones being:
1. I didn't realize how "religious" my book was until I read one so similar with no religion. As with life, a little God changes everything.
2. Per #1, if you were irritated with my book for not having more sex, try GG. There isn't a ton and it isn't graphic, but it's there.
In any case, if you read MBC and now find yourself hooked on the widow genre, do give GG a go and tell me what you find. I see Kristen Billerbeck (Christian women's fiction author) has written one called BACK TO LIFE (THE TROPHY WIVES CLUB, BOOK 2). Anyone read it or another widow book you'd like to share?
Take, for instance, the story of the bereaved widow/er getting back into the swing of things. Months ago, my cousin pointed out that MBC's plotline sounded a lot like Lolly Winston's GOOD GRIEF. After some Amazon research, I discovered it really, really did. At the conference, one of the agents I pitched to also noted this and asked if I'd read it. Uh...nope.
Since I consider MOURNING BECOMES CASSANDRA a beach read, I decided to read GOOD GRIEF at the beach last week and discovered the following similarities:
1. Obviously, both have widows trying to figure out how to do life again.
2. Both have teenage kids that the widows mentor (!!!). Winston's is a 13-year-old with pyro and cutting tendencies.
3. Both have humorous parts and poignant parts (the latter going with widow territory). If I were a crier, I would have cried at parts in this book, but as it is I haven't cried since PEACE LIKE A RIVER or the end of GRAN TORINO.
4. Both mention Ashland and have a character who acts.
5. Both protagonists, at one point, make pies and celebrate Thanksgiving.
Of the list, I'd say only #2 caused me dismay. There were also many differences, the main ones being:
1. I didn't realize how "religious" my book was until I read one so similar with no religion. As with life, a little God changes everything.
2. Per #1, if you were irritated with my book for not having more sex, try GG. There isn't a ton and it isn't graphic, but it's there.
In any case, if you read MBC and now find yourself hooked on the widow genre, do give GG a go and tell me what you find. I see Kristen Billerbeck (Christian women's fiction author) has written one called BACK TO LIFE (THE TROPHY WIVES CLUB, BOOK 2). Anyone read it or another widow book you'd like to share?
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Brrr...the Oregon Coast
Today we head to Cannon Beach, Oregon, for a chilly little vacation with my husband's family. In their many years of going there, he claims it's been blazing hot ONCE. Since I've only been going every year or two for the last 15 years, I have yet to experience this phenomenon.
Nevertheless, Cannon Beach is a beach, technically, and that means I must bring beach reads, despite reading them bundled in fleece rather than well-sunscreened in a tankini.
In the book bag:
1) CUTTING FOR STONE by Abraham Verghese. I'm 1/3 of the way through and greatly enjoying this. This is exactly the kind of story that transports you: exotic locations, interesting characters, family issues, and so on. Only one scene bothered me so far: a doctor lady grabbing a man's--ahem--intimate parts in public to humiliate him. Has ever a person behaved like this?
2) GOOD GRIEF by Lolly Winston. Several people have mentioned that MBC bears resemblance to this book, premise-wise, so I figured I'd better have a look. Not a book I'd pick up on my own, so what does it mean that I've written a book I wouldn't ordinarily pick up?
3) BRAIN RULES by John Medina. September book club. His chapter on Exercise and the Brain will inspire me to walk down to Haystack Rock and not just sit around eating chips and dip all day.
Have a good rest of the week. I'll post again Monday. You've all gone silent on me, but if anyone had a good vacation read lately, feel free to comment.
Nevertheless, Cannon Beach is a beach, technically, and that means I must bring beach reads, despite reading them bundled in fleece rather than well-sunscreened in a tankini.
In the book bag:
1) CUTTING FOR STONE by Abraham Verghese. I'm 1/3 of the way through and greatly enjoying this. This is exactly the kind of story that transports you: exotic locations, interesting characters, family issues, and so on. Only one scene bothered me so far: a doctor lady grabbing a man's--ahem--intimate parts in public to humiliate him. Has ever a person behaved like this?
2) GOOD GRIEF by Lolly Winston. Several people have mentioned that MBC bears resemblance to this book, premise-wise, so I figured I'd better have a look. Not a book I'd pick up on my own, so what does it mean that I've written a book I wouldn't ordinarily pick up?
3) BRAIN RULES by John Medina. September book club. His chapter on Exercise and the Brain will inspire me to walk down to Haystack Rock and not just sit around eating chips and dip all day.
Have a good rest of the week. I'll post again Monday. You've all gone silent on me, but if anyone had a good vacation read lately, feel free to comment.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Rejection: Why It's Happening to You and How to Avoid It
How could I not go to a session at the PNWA conference with such an alluring title? Having sent out five query letters and having received four silences and one printed rejection postcard in return, I definitely qualifed as a Reject. But in the publishing industry, where rejections hover around 98%, I knew this session wouldn't be me and three other Losers circling up our chairs.
In fact, by the time this session rolled around, I already had a very good guess why I was a Reject. Or, at least, an Instant Reject. After all, only one agent had even gotten a writing sample. The rest took one look at the query letter and hit Delete. Firstly, my pitch was too wordy. But if I managed to hold them past three sentences, they choked when they hit my novel's Word Count. Instead of writing a decent first novel that came in around 80,000-100,000 words, I'd written a 130,000-word behemoth. Apparently this is a no-no, unless you write sci-fi or fantasy, and even then, you'd better not be a first-time author.
If I didn't know my word count threw me in the Auto Reject pile when I started the conference, I sure did by the end. Different agents had their upper limits (the most generous being 120,000, but even she said she would Delete 130K "on a bad day"), but I was beyond all of them. And in my live pitch, the agent and I were having a lovely time talking my plot, my imagined audience, what kind of writing career I would like, etc., and she'd already asked me to send three chapters, but when she found out how long it was, her face fell. "That's long," she said simply.
So I've been furiously slashing and burning (it now stands at 123K+ and I'm not done), but without a professional editor, I doubt it'll ever see 90,000. A learning experience. Really, it's not so shocking when I consider the concrete costs of printing long books. Long books are more expensive, simply. And if you're not an established author, no one wants to foot the bill for your long book. Not to mention decimate great swathes of old-growth forest for paper to print it on.
I seem to be the only person in America who, upon opening a trade-size paperback, puts it back on the shelf if it's only 250 pages with big print and wide spacing. I hate that! Give me some meat!
What do you think? Short book, long book?
In fact, by the time this session rolled around, I already had a very good guess why I was a Reject. Or, at least, an Instant Reject. After all, only one agent had even gotten a writing sample. The rest took one look at the query letter and hit Delete. Firstly, my pitch was too wordy. But if I managed to hold them past three sentences, they choked when they hit my novel's Word Count. Instead of writing a decent first novel that came in around 80,000-100,000 words, I'd written a 130,000-word behemoth. Apparently this is a no-no, unless you write sci-fi or fantasy, and even then, you'd better not be a first-time author.
If I didn't know my word count threw me in the Auto Reject pile when I started the conference, I sure did by the end. Different agents had their upper limits (the most generous being 120,000, but even she said she would Delete 130K "on a bad day"), but I was beyond all of them. And in my live pitch, the agent and I were having a lovely time talking my plot, my imagined audience, what kind of writing career I would like, etc., and she'd already asked me to send three chapters, but when she found out how long it was, her face fell. "That's long," she said simply.
So I've been furiously slashing and burning (it now stands at 123K+ and I'm not done), but without a professional editor, I doubt it'll ever see 90,000. A learning experience. Really, it's not so shocking when I consider the concrete costs of printing long books. Long books are more expensive, simply. And if you're not an established author, no one wants to foot the bill for your long book. Not to mention decimate great swathes of old-growth forest for paper to print it on.
I seem to be the only person in America who, upon opening a trade-size paperback, puts it back on the shelf if it's only 250 pages with big print and wide spacing. I hate that! Give me some meat!
What do you think? Short book, long book?
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