Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Shivering Over the Dry Hump

Parental guidance, while suggested, has been known to lapse in my household. Like the time someone let the kids see X-Men: The Last Stand without adult supervision because they'd already watched the first and second installments.Yeah, it might be scary, but after Star Wars and the Harry Potter movies (not to mention Narnia and LOTR), they had proven their nightmare-proofness. (I did make the littlest one cover her eyes when Anakin got burned into a lump of human charcoal, but she protested and--I think--peeked.) All of which is to say, like typical American parents, we worry more about the kids being exposed to sex than violence and disturbing images. Because fine if you blow something or someone up, just don't sleep with it.

Anyhow, back to X-Men 3--only later, when that certain someone and I were watching the DVD ourselves, did we realize the movie features quite the dry hump. Wolverine and Phoenix all over each other--scratching, popping belt buckles. Like nothing my children had ever seen before.

"So the kids watched this while you were upstairs working on your sermon?" I double-checked.

A pause.

"Yeah," answered the other responsible parent. "Oops."

I'm happy to report that this scene need not be replayed in your household. Nor in ours. Because I've bookmarked Kids In Mind, a handy-dandy website which lets you know exactly what sex, violence and profanity can be found in which movie. Had I done this earlier I could also have avoided walking in on the offspring watching the character in Mall Cop get drunk in a bar and hit on some woman.

So that solves the movie problem. But what about the book one? Because my oldest is an avid reader, Hoovering up everything from Betsy-Tacy to the Hunger Games series, with every Meg Cabot in between. I didn't search super hard, but I don't see an equivalent website for middle-grade and YA books. Which means, unless I read it myself, I don't know if what's she's reading falls on the Beverly-Cleary-Henry-and-Ribsy end of the spectrum or the Judy-Blume-Forever one!

Imagine my dismay at lunch yesterday, when I mentioned her reading a Meg Cabot book about a supermodel, and my friend gave me a funny look.

"What?" I demanded.

Helpful Friend shrugged. "Well, it's just that there's this scene--the character walks in on her husband, and he's lying there naked on the bed with nothing but a big heap of shaving cream on him." (!!!!) (!!!!!) (!!!!!!!)

My point being, from this post forward, a frequent feature on this blog will be Mom-Over-Shoulder middle-grade and YA book analyses. If your child brings home some book you're not quite certain about, you can (after some amount of time) try searching this site for info. Please feel free to add your two cents in the comments. Or, if you've read a popular book which isn't covered, send me a breakdown and I can guest-post it. As the queen of Books with F-Bombs in Them, I'm not interested in telling anyone whether or not their child should read the book--I just want there to be a place to look it up.

So here's the inaugural book analysis: Maggie Stiefvater's Shiver. This book is the first in a series called The Wolves of Mercy Falls.

Plot: Teenage girl, bitten by wolves as a young girl, has long felt a connection to a particular golden-eyed wolf. Every summer when it warms up, he turns human, so they get together. Conflict? His human time is limited--will they have to part????

Sex: Uh-huh, eventually. As with Twilight, a fair amount of lead-up and thinking about it and fairly constant horniness. I don't recall the scene being graphic, but it's there.

Violence/Peril/Disturbing Images: Some, but pretty mild because it's basically a YA paranormal romance

Cussing: Some. Not enough that I would notice, considering my own books. :)

Now wasn't that helpful?

2 comments:

  1. Okay, then! I'll get you some analyses soon. From the boy-lit angle, 'cause I'm just not worried about books with hearts on the cover coming into this testoterone den!

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  2. Dudes. I am 90% through Golden Compass and I take back every last thing I said during the B'vue Square speedwalk. THUMBS DOWN. As soon as I finish completely, I'll send you the details. (Leaves to commence barfing in corner)

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