|The Road More Traveled|
A couple weeks ago I applied for my first job in--what--sixteen years? I've been (un)fortunate enough not to work "outside the home" since I had my first child (she's now 12 1/2), and before I left the workplace, I'd been at my then-job for four years. And when you consider that I got that job because my ultimate boss was married to my penultimate boss, I really haven't been thrown back on peddling my own qualifications for something like eighteen years.
Why was I applying for a job now? I give you four reasons:
- I was suffering from partial writer's block on my WIP;
- My book sales fell off a cliff just when I was setting some financial goals by them (more on this some other time);
- My husband was talking about the economy going south, and we had a more-than-half-serious discussion about where we could move and subsistence farm.
Domestic Assistant. Prepare Meals for One Executive. Bellevue (Bellevue)
Date: Not Long Ago
Reply to: XXXXXXXXXXX
Prepare meals, Buy groceries, provide minimal laundry, and house cleaning activities. I'm a single male executive with no children or pets. I keep a clean home, don't smoke or drink, and am very polite. My home is five minutes from Bellevue Square.
$25 dollars per hour, two hours per day, and two days per week. Must pass a criminal background check and have your own transportation.
Are you kidding me??? $100 per week to do what I already do, for someone who, unlike my children, is "clean" and "very polite"??? Not to mention, he's a "single male executive" (picture Daniel Martin from Mourning Becomes Cassandra). Though I didn't discover the listing until nine days after it first appeared, I hastened to apply.
And got...total silence.
Is there anything more demoralizing than not only not having what it takes to be someone's part-time house slave, but being so incredibly not what he's looking for that he can't even be bothered to reply? If there is, I can't think of it.
My friends thought to comfort me by saying, "Christina, you're so naive. I don't think that's an ad for a domestic assistant. I think he's looking for sex. That's an ad for sex."
So now you're telling me I don't even have what it takes to be someone's part-time sex slave??? What kind of woman doesn't even get a call-back when she's offering cheap sex? (Note: while $25/hr is generous for a genuine domestic assistant, I do think $25/trick is insultingly chintzy. Occupy Clyde Hill, anyone?) Was this all because I didn't list Hooters and "bikini barista" on my resume? Can we say "discrimination"?
So, craigslist failure that I am, I'm back to writing. Chapter 16 and counting on my nameless book.
Unless things get really bad, and I break down and apply for that other listing: Hot Dog Vendor at Home Depot.