Yes, But What Does He Know about Fashion?

We were watching a PROJECT RUNWAY episode from Season Five last night via Netflix, and who should the guest judge be but Apolo Anton Ohno? It was like running into a boyfriend you're not quite over because there was no closure because things ended so horribly.

Here it is Tuesday, and I am not over the Men's Short-Track 500M Medal Final. I managed to survive Bode Miller and Lindsey Vonn petering out. The dreadful Men's Hockey Final nearly did me in, but I pulled through. No, it's that stupid Short-Track 500. Was it all the footage of Charles Hamelin's stressed-out girlfriend that set me off? Was it that Hamelin's little brother managed to get J. R. Celski DQed? Was it that Tremblay had to go and collapse when Apolo gave him the friendly, hey-I'm-passing-your-sorry-behind pat? Was it that the name "Tremblay" is more befitting a fawn learning to walk than an Olympic medalist?

All of the above. And more.

How soul-soothing to watch Apolo rate the Runway contestants' offerings. The challenge: create an outfit for a female Olympian to wear for the Opening Ceremony at a Summer Olympics. Some guest judges are shrinking violets, but not our Apolo. He had opinions: "I love the colors that you used. I thought it just really popped" and "It looks very American, and that's important" or, alternatively, "I wasn't able to get anything Olympic out of the outfit. There's just nothing athletic about it."

So, yeah, he didn't get a repeat gold on the 500M, but I'd like to see Lee Ho-Suk duke it out with Nina Garcia and Michael Kors, or Charles Hamelin try to Dance with the Stars. And just don't get me started on Tremblay.

Massive Air: Olympic Edition

With all the complaining about NBC's coverage of the Olympics, I thought someone should say something in favor.

1. You can enjoy a full evening out and still not miss anything. Last night Tina's book club was hosting MOURNING BECOMES CASSANDRA and me until 9:30P (thanks, Tina!), but when I got home and immediately flipped on the television I discovered, to my joy, that I was still in plenty of time to catch the good stuff. Meaning, Shaun White had not even begun to think of putting in an appearance.

2. Insomniacs now have something quality to watch. For heaven's sake, if no one but Hawaii can see the key events in prime time, that means the rest of us don't have to sit through reruns of GOMER PYLE while we sip our warm milk and wander the halls.

3. NBC has learned the magic of the twist ending. I tell you, they really had me going with Lindsey Jacobellis the snowboarder. All the replays of her last-minute fall in Torino after finding herself out in front on snowboard cross. All the "she's waited four years for this moment, four years for redemption!" And then--boom!--down she goes again. Did not see that coming.

4. Awesome expert commentary. I mean this. I absolutely love listening to the snowboard commentary. Half-pipe last night had my hands-down favorite bit so far. As they watched the next-to-go guy gear up for his final, medal run, the commentator said, "We have a saying for this: we call it 'tapping into the Eye of the Tiger.'" I have no idea what that even means, but it's wonderful. Is it "drawing on your inner awful pop song"? Or "making another sequel when you should have let the franchise rest in peace"? Whatever the case, "tapping into the Eye of the Tiger" is my new, soon-to-be-overused catchphrase.

And finally...

5. Chances to bone up on national anthems. If your "Star-Spangled Banner" needs some work for the upcoming baseball season, don't miss a single one of the medal ceremonies. Plus, there are the occasional other medal ceremonies they air, where other countries have won, and they must explain to the viewing audience why we will not be hearing the "Star-Spangled Banner." Wait--could we go over that again?